Sunday, October 31, 2010

Imperial Probing Droid.

I just found Igor in the book shelf. He was just sitting there playing with his cell phone.
And eating chocolate. The small robot's chocolate!
So I asked him what he was doing.
"I'm"
"nom"
"Just checking out some cool things on the internets with my"
"nom nom"
"Cell phone"

"Yeah, but it's not your chocolate is it?" I replied him.

"Well"
"nom nom nom"
"The little guy isn't here to complain is he?"

And he was right. Actually I had not seen the little fellow in a couple of days now.

"Hey, Igor! Where is that small droid of yours?"

"Well. I sent him on a recon mission. I got a lead on where to find a sith lord, and he volunteered to follow it up." Igor said and shrugged his shoulders.

"So you're telling me that this robot has actually gone somewhere?"

"Yep."

I hate this guy. I go buy him an expensive toy and it just takes a couple of days for him to lose it.
I think I am going to sit down with Igor and have a serious conversation sometime soon.

But for now I let him continue playing some kind of  game on his phone. He was so in the game that it sounded like he was talking to it.
This droid I tell you...


Meanwhile
In a galaxy not far far away.

Small robot with a communication device.
"Igor! Igor! Come in Igor!"
"This is Igor speaking. Is that you little guy?"
"Yes! I have gathered some very important intel that I show you."
"Go on?"
"Okay. Just hold on and I'll send you everything I got! and Remember; "many bothans died to bring us this information""
The last part was uttered with a slight giggle.
To be continued...

Saturday, October 30, 2010

IG Phone Home.

I have been arguing quite a bit with Igor lately.
He has just gotten a cell phone.
All the other assassin droids has got one, I must have one too. Was the excuse he used to try to convice me to get him one.
And since I found a really cheap one I thought "why not?".
So now he sits there all by him self in the book shelf just playing with his phone.
And he hasn't been playing with his new small robot for a while either.
Maybe I should confiscate his phone for a while.

Thursday, October 28, 2010

Inception.

"It's.. it's.."
"IT'S A LEGO ASSASSIN DROID MODEL IG-86!!" Igor yelled happily.
"It's just like the one we saw on ebay! isn't it?"
And before I could confirm that it as, he just continued talking.
"This is the best thing or present anyone has ever given me."

"Look at him!"
"He's like a small copy of me."
"Man, you know hat e can do?" he asked, but clearly he was more speaking to him self because now I was totally secluded from the conversation.
"We can  take pictures of him doing crazy stuff and people will think that he's a real robot or something."
"This is going to be so awesome."

He started right away with making him pose with some candy.
"Haha! I am so going to call this picture 'the worst bounty hunter in the galaxy'."

I sighed. Clearly Igor has a soft spot for puns.

So I asked him if the couldn't be photographed with the mini robot.

Now I am going to call this picture the worst bounty hunters in the galaxy.

Tuesday, October 26, 2010

Wrapped in Plastic.

A while ago, me and Igor sat down and looked what ebay had to offer.
I can tell you that there are lots of things that both me and my little partner in crime would like to get our hands on.

But we both decided that we did not want to buy something without thinking it through.
So we did not buy anything that day.
Or that's what I told Igor anyway. Because when he was busy doing some assassin droid stuff, I put a winning bid on something that I thought he'd appreciate.


Some days later.


One day when we got home from work there was a mysterious letter laying on the hall carpet.
"Seems to be addressed to me" said Igor with a suspicious tone.
"Well you better open it then" I  told him, knowing exactly what the letter contained.
"Looks empt... hey wait! There is something in here"
And just a couple of seconds later he jumped out with this.
"Oboy, oboy, oboy, oboy!"
Oh, yes, that was one excited droid there.
"Oh my god! OH MY FRAKKING GOD!" He yelled after he had(not so gently) removed the covering plastic.
"YOU DIDN'T?!"



To be continued...

Friday, October 22, 2010

An American Wookie In Europe.

Igor said that he wanted to take a walk tonight.
"Bring your camera and I'll bring my sniper rifle."
"We have some shooting to do."

When we had headed out into the darkness Igor told me that tonight was a perfect night to hunt some wookies.

I had no idea of how he knew that.

But he told me that I should just trust him on that.

Here's a picture of Igor scanning the terrain through his night vision sight.
We found no wookies, so I asked why he thought there'd be a fair chance to hunt some of those down tonight.

"Full moon" He said.

I still didn't get it.

"Haven't you seen any horror movies?"
He continued without waiting for an answer.
"There's lots of those hairy bastards around when the moon is full."

That's when it hit me.
He thought werewolves were wookies.

So since he can't tell fact from fiction, and I didn't want to disappoint him, I just lied and said that no wookies would be spotted today.
Because today's a big wookie holiday so they're all back on their home planet Kashyyyk.

He bought the lie and we could go home.
Which I found delighting, because my fingers were in need of a defrosting.

Tuesday, October 19, 2010

To Ride, Shoot Straight and Speak the Truth.

I payed my mom a visit this weekend and she thought that I should bring Igor with me, because she wanted him to tell her all about his stay in Stockholm.
So she made us coffee and offered us some noms.
"Nom nom"
"...and you know what?"
"nom nom nom"
"I even rode a horse"
"nom nom"
"There are pictures to prove it if you don't believe me"


My mom laughed and told Igor that she could tell that it wasn't a real horse that he rode in that picture.


Igor got a bit sad and said that one day, maybe he get the opportunity to ride a real live one.


"Well, that could be arranged right away. So what do you say?" asked mom.


Igor answered with a nervous tone in his voice.
"Sure, I'd love to"


So we went out to the horses and I could tell that Igor's huge confidence shrunk a bit as soon as he saw the huge creatures.


I helped him up on the back of one of the horses and told him to hold on tight.


And he did.  If he would've had knuckles, they'd be as white as they could get.
And I would soon notice that he wasn't intimidated at all.
"Giddy up!" he yelled.
"Yeeha!"
And had he not hold on tight he would surely have fallen off the back of the horse as it galloped away.
But this droid was a true talent in horsemanship and soon he was in control of this animal.
He kept riding for quite a while before he decided that the horse had had enough.


As always he insisted that he had his picture taken with this new friend of his.
Do click the image to see a bigger version of it!


We sat down in the beautiful nature and made some small talk.[click the picture for your new wallpaper]
But then from out of nowhere he spotted something.
"OMFG" he yelled.
"Have you seen this beauty?"


I had no idea of what he was talking about, but he insisted that I came along for something spectacular.


So I did.


"You see that huge rock?"
"I am going to climb that piece of bad ass"
"Free climb, 'cause I'm no sissy you know"


I just sighed, smiled and tagged along with my camera.
"It's a long way to the top!" Igor laughed while the words left his mouth.
"You know that it is famous a rock song?"
I couldn't tell if the pun was intended or not.
´
"Let there be rock"
I just shook my head. 
It was most definitely intended.
"Almost there"
"I'm the king of the world!"


I love that droid. Even when I hate him.


Igor wanted to be alone for a moment  and use the time for contemplation.[Or maybe this is a better suited wallpaper?]


After a while I could hear a rustling sound behind me.
It was that small assassin droid sneaking up on me. I almost didn't see him there.


He told me that we could go back to moms house now.


I agreed.






When we got there he wandered off to explore the yard.´
"Hey! Look here"
"What is this?"






"A system scan indicates that it is edible!"
"You really think that I can rely on my sensors?


Before I had time to answer him, he had already put it in his mouth and swallowed the damn thing.


Let's just hope that he won't do that when we find poisonous mushrooms. That could cause a hell of a lot of problems.


But then again.
He's a droid.


"Hey! HEY!"


"That thing! I want to ride it!"


Before I even thought about stopping him he was already sitting on the cat's back.
The cat is almost 17 years old. he could not care less about a small robot with ADD.


I decided that this was enough for Igor and I took him inside.
It didn't take long before he fell asleep on a chair spooning furry cat.
I had to wake him up just a bit after because it was time to go home.
Igor politely thanked the cat for the cozy spooning.
"Bye cat. Hope to see you soon again"



Friday, October 15, 2010

Project: Cloning.

Igor came to me with a list of things he needed in a project of his.
Since it was a quite modest list of demands I decided that I'd help him out.

He said that it was things and materials he needed for some molding.
So I bought some really cheap stuff at the supermarket and thought he'd notice.

But he didn't.
This is Assassin droid Igor posing with a piece of pink clay.
"Take lots of pictures, this will be epic!". His words, not mine.

He the filled me in on his what he was about to do. And I do have to admit that his plan was a bit exciting.
"I'm doing it now! Darn you if you don't take pictures!"

A faceplant later:
"Mmmppff."
"Mmmm."
"Pftmm!"
"Unnnhhh?"
"UNNNHHH???"

Since I had no idea of what he's was saying I just played along and said "yes".



.




..





...



It was about here that I started to worry about Igor getting enough air.




.




But I soon realised that he's a droid and have no lungs.




.




But just to be sure I poked him.
I think he was asleep.
He says that he was awake.
I have my doubts about the amount of truth in that statement.

Here's the finished pattern we used.
Igor filled the pattern with some acrylic paint, and then we let it be for a couple of days.


One day Igor was calling for my attention from the kitchen. And this is what he had to show me:
He extracted the mold and glued it to a magnet and then painted it.

I was impressed.
And thought that it would look good on my fridge.
But Igor said that he had already decided that he was going to send it to a friend of his.

Monday, October 11, 2010

Working Nine To Five.

Even assassin droids have bad mondays.
I shot this picture of Igor when he came home from work.
It's obvious that he had a bad day at work.
He didn't say anything. I didn't ask.